By Rena Greenberg
What prevents us from keeping an open heart and giving the love at our core freely? For most people the primary barriers include the fears of making mistakes and getting hurt. It makes no sense from the standpoint of the intelligent, rational mind to be vulnerable.
In truth, we can’t fully understand everything with our conscious, analytical mind and, most likely, we can’t even understand ourselves most of the time.
But one thing all of us do know at some deep inner level is that we want to be loved and appreciated—and we want our mistakes forgiven. How can we guarantee that our missteps will be absolved? We can’t. But what we can do to improve the odds that this will happen is to forgive the mistakes of others.
This often can be very challenging because our analytical mind will tell us that the other person’s behavior is unforgivable. We may tell our self that we would never do what the other person did. That may be true. However, what we often overlook is that we may be inclined to do (or have done) other things that are equally hurtful to someone else.
It’s so easy to judge and condemn others, but it can be quite humbling to realize that the forgiveness we are being asked to give (whether by the individual who hurt us or others close to us) is, in reality, the forgiveness that we ourselves are seeking.
Perhaps you would never scream at the top of your lungs and say embarrassing things to someone you love, which one of your friends may be guilty of doing. However, in another scenario, maybe you helped yourself to what rightfully did not belong to you, even if that was just credit for something that was due someone else. Perhaps it’s a weakness or flaw that you’d like to forget? Upon closer examination, you may discover that your short-tempered friend would never take what belonged to someone else, and yet he or she would freely forgive you for that shortcoming.
Release and Forgive Daily
To release is to gain our own personal freedom—and in the process we can forgive without condoning the behavior of others. Try working with this affirmation:
“I forgive you. I release you. I set you free and I am free.”
Make it a daily practice to let go of everything that’s bothering you. If that seems difficult or even impossible, imagine the passage of time happening. Ask yourself, “How long does this event warrant me carrying it around with resentment and hostility?”
Clear all your fear, anger, hurt, shame and guilt by letting it wash off you, just as you rinse the dirt off your body on a daily basis in the shower, or dust off the furniture in your home.
Since there is no distinct amount of time that is beneficial to carry around pain, the quicker you can let it go the healthier you will be. Fear, anger and resentment create aging, illness and disease. It doesn’t matter if these emotions are “understandable” based on your life circumstances.
What matters is simply that you are carrying them, and they are weighing you down (often literally). You can let them go just by deciding to do so. Remind yourself that, “Nothing means what I think it does,” and “This too shall pass.”
In the big picture of your life, constantly remember all the goodness and love that are directed your way and let that outshine the disappointments and hurt. Stop looking for a cause. There never is any one cause or single person to blame. People treat others in less-than-loving ways because of their own emotional pain, fear and anxiety. Give them the gift of forgiveness and open your heart to receive all the redemption that is available to you.
Rena Greenberg, a Hay House author, can be reached at EasyWillpower.com. Her weight loss and gastric bypass hypnosis success has been featured in 150-plus news stories including USA Today, Woman’s World, The Doctor’s, CNN, Good Morning America and Nightline. PBS stations nationally aired Rena’s show, “Easy Willpower,” in August 2015. Her wellness program is sponsored in 75 hospitals and 100-plus corporations. She conducts hypnotherapy sessions with people all over the world on Skype and in Sarasota, FL.
