When you let go of strong attachment to things, you feel the newly liberated space within you beginning to fill with happiness, joy and peace.
By Emil Nazaryan
Imagine you just bought the car of your dreams. You thought about it for years, and you finally have it. You love the slick design, the shiny wheels, the unmistakable new car smell. You are absolutely in love with the vehicle! In fact, you would like to hug it all the time. The day after buying the car, you go to Starbucks drive-through to get your favorite drink. As you pull into the narrow lane, you hear a loud scraping sound, and you feel the car vibrate. You want to believe it’s not what you think it is. You get out of the car, and, sure enough, the beautiful, shiny alloy wheels are now covered with ugly scratch marks. It’s as if you are almost feeling those scratches on your body. That’s how much it hurts.
Now consider another scenario. For Christmas, you got the watch you have been dreaming about for a long time. It’s perfect, and it looks good on you. You can’t take your eyes off it. You are looking forward to wearing it everywhere. Every time you look at it, you are filled with joy. A week goes by. As usual, you take it off as you’re getting ready to go to sleep. Suddenly, you feel it slipping off your wrist. By the time you realize what’s happening, the watch is on the floor, the glass shattered to pieces, the dials scattered across the tiles, and you have no insurance. How would you feel? What would you feel? More than likely, a lot of pain.
Have you ever been in similar circumstances? Have you ever experienced this type of pain? If you have been on this earth for any length of time, you almost certainly have. But you may ask: Isn’t this everyone’s experience? Isn’t this how it works? Is there any way to avoid the pain of having something happen to things to which you are attached?
American sage and spiritual teacher Robert Adams once wisely said: “Possess all you want, but don’t be possessed by your possessions.” Read that sentence again. What does it mean? How do you interpret that? How can you do that?
Let’s go back to the examples above. What if you had your dream car to drive for a week, with full insurance coverage? It doesn’t matter what happens to the car during the time you drive it. When you return it, you are done with it. What would be your pain level if you got the wheels scratched at the drive-through? Knowing that it wasn’t yours to keep and that you were not responsible for it, your pain level likely would be next to nothing. Wouldn’t you agree? However, didn’t you enjoy driving the car as much as you would have if it were yours? You experienced the pleasure of driving your dream car without the pain of something happening to it. The same would be true for the watch example. So, what’s the difference?
The obvious answer is attachment, or more precisely, embodying the possessive pronoun “mine.” Once something becomes “mine,” attachment to it skyrockets and so does the corresponding pain.
Taking a bird’s eye view, can you ever truly say that something is “mine” when we ourselves are guests in this life? At best, we are temporarily “leasing” everything in life, as we came here with nothing, and we will be leaving with nothing.
Don’t get depressed! This realization opens the door to enjoyment of life on a whole new level. The word that characterizes this new lifestyle is “freedom!” In this way of living, you can still possess and enjoy the things you want—but not be possessed by them. When you have the attitude that everything you own is not actually “mine”—you are only enjoying those things for a period of time—it frees you from the burden of unnecessary pain associated with loss. The freedom is reward enough for you to give this new attitude a shot and discover the truth yourself. But it doesn’t stop there.
When you let go of strong attachment to things, you feel the newly liberated space within you beginning to fill with happiness, joy and peace. What happens with the diminution of “me” and “mine” is the cracking of the ego, which is responsible for your pain and suffering. Then you feel divine energy—which has always been within you—slip through the cracks and come to the surface. It takes hold of you, and your life quality starts to shift completely; you become more loving, more forgiving, more generous, more compassionate. You are no longer bothered by the trifles of life’s shiny objects.
Can you start feeling this power stirring within your heart as you read these words? No possession on earth can give you the same feeling, and, once you experience it, no loss of possession can take it away from you.
And, finally, you can’t hide this light within you from others. You will bring joy wherever you go, you will inspire others, and you will live your life to the fullest at every moment.
Emil Nazaryan is a motivational writer and a contributor to several magazines. His spiritual journey has led the way to sharing the insights he has experienced with others. Emil is well acquainted with all major spiritual traditions of the world, but it is the direct experience of the essence of these teachings that is responsible for his life outlook and the motivational articles that stem from it. In his career, Emil is a successful, award-winning REALTOR, including REALTOR of the Year, presented by Hampton Roads REALTORs Association. He resides in coastal Virginia with his beloved wife and two children. Email Emil at emil.rw@gmail.com.
