By Alison Olkowski
Ever since I can remember I’ve been classified as “sensitive.” I have a sensitive heart and a sensitive mind. I am a feeler. As a small child, I would suddenly be invaded by some foreign emotion. Although internally I knew I was fine, I would experience feelings that were anxious, guilty, manic, joyous, spiteful, sad, angry and everything in between. I felt like I was on an ocean wave of the emotions of those sharing my physical space. Of course, many children have sensory overload and sensitivity to outside energy, but mine was very extreme, especially approaching puberty.
Luckily, it didn’t take me long in my young life to recognize exactly what was happening. I was fully absorbing the emotions of those around me and mistaking them for my own.
When the feelings came, everything about them was foreign. The taste in my mouth changed, the scents and sounds I noticed shifted and my cells started jumping and pulsing. Then, like a bloodhound, I would scan the room finding the tether and where it led to. I was like a mediator. I didn’t like people to feel bad, and I began chasing all the bad feelings down to destroy them.
What I didn’t realize was that I wasn’t helping anybody. Bad things and feelings kept happening, and many times my meddling and ego backfired in a very bad way. I was taking away peoples’ experiences of their own emotions and interrupting important lessons for them. Even when my mom believed me and took me to a spiritual healer whom also shared our belief, I still felt the burden was too much and there was no relief.
I decided to seal myself off for a very long time, and this was quite disastrous being an extrovert and true lover of people. Then through much meditation and self-care, I found that I can work to control my empathy, protect myself AND help others!
When working with Reiki healing and life coaching, I have to exercise psychic restraint. I always imagine myself protected by my own energy field and remind myself after each meeting that the issues of others belong to them and them only. Remember that everything is about perspective, and no feelings are bad. Feelings are a part of being human. When negative emotions arise it’s time for self-reflection and recognition and only YOU can do that for yourself.
Alison Olkowski is an intuitive Reiki Healer, Life Purpose Coach and Embodiment Enthusiast. She is focused on inspiring others to stand proud in their own unique power and manage their life in a more awakened and empowered state. Alison is a strong believer in self-awareness, mind/body connection, recognition and release of negative emotions and the power and beauty that flows through each and every being. She offers distance and in-person sessions focused on reconstructing mental and emotional archetypes to reflect a more positive and productive life. Email her at alisun.wunderland13@gmail.com.
